worldofweirdcraft.net

Ok, in the proud history of our country, many battles have been waged, the battle of Iwo Jima, the battle of Hamburger hill, but non so savage, so unspeakable…..as the battle for noob hill!  Anyone who has spent a few matches in Alterec Valley will know that there are four distinct factions of players in AV, and their numbers change up depending on the match, but they are always represented as follows.

Group 1: The AFK’er yes, its true, an any battlegroud there are those leaches who are there only to step away from their keyboard, ignore all efforts to win, get a drink, what ever it is they do, they pretty much stand around and do nothing.  they can normaly be found in the starting area, and never move.

Group 2:  The defense, this is the group I normaly fall into.  I prefer to stay back, and defend out home.  I like to block all efforts to cross into our space, I try to recap our grave yards and protect our towers making it as hard as possible for the horde team to win.

Group 3: The mid field crew: For what ever reason, so matter the battleground these guys are always there. They believe it is their sole purpose in pvp, to rush out to aproximatly mid field on the map, engage the closest enemy they can find..promptly die…and then repeat as many times as possible.  They really don’t make any effort on offense or defense…they…pretty much just die alot. Go figure.

Group 4: Offense. Now this group is tricky, see in a good match they can be the cause of an epic timely victory. Rushing the enemy towers, capping them quickly, taking the fight right outside dreks doorstep and moving in at the right moment to win the game. However….on the bad days….when their numbers are short, and the other three groups have to many in their numbers group 4 ends up on noob hill.

What is noob hill you ask? Noob hill is exatlly where all noobs end up!  Everyone who is playing AV  for the first time will no doubt try to stay with the leading pack of offensive players and they charge off seeking victory, and this charge always leads right to the little hill infront of Dreks doorstep. And there they wait. and wait and wait.  Now see this is where it gets fun I shall explain in the form of a typical conversaion.

Ronne: Offense you guys better move in on Drek we are losing ground on D and we only have 110 resources left.

Firegnomer: We are waiting for the towers to cap STFU!

Ronne: Im just saying..Im looking at the map and there are like 20 of you infront of Drek, you need to go in our the horde will win!

Firegnomer: Dude..we can’t go in yet the towers havn’t capped and you get more honor if you cap the towers anyways you stupid noob.

Ronne:  You get less honor if you lose tard FUCK! Go the fuck in and stop standing around!

Roflrogue: You guys are suck newbs, you get the best honor by being in midfield and killing horde for more honor

Firegnomer: Roflrogue is a noob!11!! I saw him get pwned by a mage!

Roflrogue: Stfu Omg wtf! i will roflstomp you you pos

Ronne: GET THE FUCK IN! We are about to lose!

Firegnomer: Dude you are so fucking stupid I told you the towers havn’t capped yet! Your not doing anything back on D, get your ass up here on offense!

Ronne:…..I will PUNCH YOUR FUCKING BABY YOU ASSWHOREMOTHERBITCH

The Horde has won the battle for Alterec Valley.

Firegnome: Way to lose the game defense..fucking noobs.

Ronne: I will find you and eat your kittens….

Ok so its just a joke, its just that I have noticed  many do just charge to noob hill and stand there..and take out vanity pets, and dance…and talk smack… and I am taking names..and putting them all on a list…a list I wrote on human skin and write in my own blood…yes…..one day I will have my revenge…..